The Hedgehog in the Iron Mask (transcript)
From Sonic Retro
This is the English transcript of the Sonic Underground episode The Hedgehog in the Iron Mask.
(Courtesy of The Sonic Zone)
Queen Aleena: Behind the mask of our everyday faces are secret fears and ambitions we try to hide from others. It takes courage to come out from behind the mask and let the world see who we really are. Manic: Dude, this place gives me the creeps! Sonia: Yeah, especially since it's NICE everywhere else! Sonic: Gotta hand it to Buttnik - he knows how to set a mood! Come on! If Mom was imprisoned here, the records might hold a clue to where she went! Actor: It's showtime! Sonia: Now what do we do? Actor: [clears throat] Oh I, why have I been so unjustly imprisoned? Unmask my face and let me look upon... er... Freedom! Precious freedom again! Sonia: Who is that? A prisoner? Sonic: The big question is - why a prisoner? Manic: Yeah, Buttnik usually just robotosizes them! Actor: Let me ou-ou-ou-out! Sonia: There's something familiar about that voice... Manic: Yeah, sounds like Sonic's off-key singing! Sonic: Very funny. Now maybe we can find some answers once we finally get inside! Sonic: Hmm... Manic, can you hack this hardware? [Manic starts typing away and a Dingo-face appears on the machine] Sonic: Manic, I'm waiting... Dingo: Hehehahaha - stop that, I'm ticklish! Manic: Dingo! Sleet: You expecting maybe a brass band and the key to the city? Sonia: Sleet! [Dingo turns back] Sleet: Get them! Grab him! [Sleet and Dingo get tied up with some tape] Sonic: Where's the records about our Mom? Dingo: There aren't any! The tip was a fake! Part of the trap! Sonia: And the prisoner in the tower? What did he do? Dingo: Nothing - Robotnik didn't robotosize him because he's important, but nobody knows who he is! Sonia: That's terrible! [Sleet arrives with more SWATBots] Sleet: There! Sonic: Last one across the moat's a Buttnik prisoner! Sleet: The... the hedgehogs got away! Robotnik: Of course they did! I planned that! Sleet: Yes, of course you did, a great idea, Robotnik! Robotnik: Can it, Sleet! Dingo: I told them the stuff you said to tell them, Robotnik Sir! Robotnik: Excellent! I have a plan we can use to eliminate them PERMANENTLY! Hahahaha! Sonia: Do you know the man who was a prisoner in this tower? [Man shrugs shoulders and walks away] [Song: Part of the problem] When there's trouble you don't want to face, You disappear without a trace, You run and hide your head in the sand. But if you want to be a winner some day, Gotta learn to chase the wolf away, Gonna have to get involved, don't you understand? You're part of the problem, If you're not helping solve them, Stand up and show 'em what you got! Be part of the solution, No reason for losing, Just be sure you're not, Part of the problem! Part of the problem! You're part of the problem, If you're not helping solve them, Stand up and show 'em what you got, Be part of the solution, No reason for losing, Just be sure you're not, Part of the problem! Part of the problem! Be sure you're not, Part of the problem! Sonic: Maybe now they'll tell us who the prisoner is! [Man shrugs shoulders and shakes his head] Sonic: Looks like the only way to find out who that prisoner is is to rescue him ourselves! Actor: Oh, woe is me, will I never be free? [Sonic runs up the stairs] Actor: Help me! Free me! Sonic: Stand back! [Busts door down] Manic (noticing SWATBots approaching): We're gonna have company... Actor: Leave me! Save yourselves! Sonic: Not without you! Sleet: Quickly - get up there and make sure those SWATBots don't blow it! Sonic: Come on, come on, let's speed up! [The hedgehogs destroy the SWATBots] Sonia: In Buttnik's world, there is NO justice! Sonic: Yeah, there's just US! [Sonic, Sonia, Manic and the actor grab onto a rope, which lets them fall down (and at the same time pulls a cage up). But they're about to fall right into Sleet's clutches!] Actor: Oh no! Sleet: Hehe hahaha! Dingo: This may hurt... [gets hit by the cage coming up] Sleet: Uh oh... Ouch! [the hedgehogs land right on top of Sleet] Manic: Congratulations my man, you've just experienced a righteous resistance rescue! Now let's bust your noggin outta that loser headgear! It'll only take a sec! Actor: No! Don't! The mask - it's booby-trapped! If you unlock it, BOOM! Hedgehog hash! Sonia: Phew! Now that's a visual I didn't need! Sonic: So who are you anyway? Sonia: And why's Buttnik got you wearing that metal bonnet? It doesn't do a thing for you! Actor: You'll pardon my wariness, but who are you? Manic: Hey - you are looking at the Sonic Underground! Sonic: Manic, Sonia, and me - Sonic! Sonia: We're the children of Mobius' rightful ruler - Queen Aleena! Actor: (gasp) Can it really be you? I can't believe it - why, I haven't seen you since you were little hedgehoglets! Manic: Clarification is in order, man! Actor: I couldn't expect you to remember me, but I am your uncle! Your mother's twin brother! [Van screeches to a halt] Actor: Ah, the fresh air of freedom! Manic: Do you think he could really be Mom's brother? Sonia: Well, his voice does sound familiar... Manic: Besides, why else would Buttnik have him in the clink? Actor: I managed to conceal these from Robotnik in the hopes that some day I could bestow them upon you! [reveals rings] They bear the Royal family crest - wear them always! Sonic: I don't get it! Why the mask? And how come we've never heard of you before? Actor (overacting): It's the law! There can be only one ruler of Mobius! I was forced into exile, and then when your mother vanished Robotnik imprisoned me, afraid that I would claim the throne! Manic: Aw, bummer! Major drawback to royalty! Sonic: Don't worry bro, when I'm ruler you won't have to vanish! Sonia: You? Hah! A ruler needs some culture and sophistication - you can't serve chili-dogs at a Royal Banquet! Besides, I will never wear a mask - talk about a clashing accessory! Manic: Hey! I'm the true representative of the people! Sonia: Hey! I don't recall saying YOU were the leader! Manic: Oh, like Miss Perfect doesn't think she's Queen already! Sonia: You've got to admit - I look best in a crown! Sonic: I'm saying that once I'm ruler, I'm sure we can work something out for you two. Sonia: Frankly, I don't think either of you are up to the Royal job! Manic and Sonic: OH YEAH? Sonia: Yeah! Actor: Look out! More of Robotnik's troops! Sonic: Hit it, sibs! Manic: Just because I've lived on the streets all my life doesn't mean I can't handle the crown! Sonic: Dream on! I'll be wearing the crown! Sonia: You? I'd look much better in a crown - diamonds go with my eyes! Robotnik: Hehehaha! Ah, yes! Already the breakup has started, just as I planned! And all it needs is one more little push! [Presses a button, oil spills out onto the road ahead of the SU van, causing it to skid] Manic: Give it more gas! Sonic: Sure! So the wheels can spin even more! Sonia: If you were to steer Mobius the way you steer a van, then we'd all be on the road to disaster! Sonic: Yeah? Well if you become ruler I'll vanish on purpose, just so I don't have to listen to you! Sonia: Well if that's how you feel then I'll just leave! Go off by myself! Sonic: Yeah! This hedgehog never needed anyone before and he doesn't now! As of now, the Sonic Underground is through - we each go our own way - and may the best ruler win! Sonia: Fine! Manic: Let there be the rule of cool! Actor: Mind if I accompany you? Manic: Hike along, Unc! Robotnik: HehehehahahahahHAHAHAHAHA! Actor: So much has changed since I was imprisoned! Where are we going? Manic: No offence, but if you wanna stop attracting SWATBot attention, we gotta get that mask off your mug, And as it happens I know this stokin' secret locksmith who can deactivate any booby-trap! Whoa-oa-oa! Actor: What's wrong? Manic: This was NOT here before! [we see a door which is obviously a Dingo tran sformation] Manic: Hey! Dingo! [captures Manic] Run, Unc! Actor: Oh, I shall! Sonia: How could Sonic and Manic possibly think they'd be a better ruler than me? I'm the one with the queenly demeanour! Those other two - they've ruined the Royal reputation! Actor: Oh I agree, my dear niece! Sonia: Uncle? Actor: Your brother Manic abandoned me - NOT royal material at all, in my opinion! Sonia: And Sonic is just as bad! They both make me so angry! Actor: Now, now, what would your poor mother think? Sonia: Huh? [We see a fallen statue of Queen Aleena, another Dingo transformation] Sonia: You're right! Mother would want us to work together! Dingo: Sohnia! In my arms at last! [captures Sonia] Sonic: All I need to do is get the van out of the ditch, and I can go on tour as a solo Resistance act! [Scene: Industrial 'garage' type place with an orange bin (another Dingo transformation)] Sonic: Anyone here? I need a tow-truck! Hmm... maybe they have a wrench I could borrow. Actor: An excellent idea! Sonic: What? How'd you get here? Where's Manic? Actor: He's just not suitable as a ruler - I've decided you are! That's why I came! Sonic: Yeah? How'd you find me? Actor: Er... I... er... um... Sonic: Spit it out Uncle, if that's really who you are! How'd you track me down? Say... [looks at ring, which is now glowing - it's a homing device!] Sleet: Get him! [morphs Dingo back] Sonic: Lemme give you a lift! [activates cranes, lifting SWATBots] Robotnik (on monitor): Don't just stand there you tin-faced twerp - get in there and DO SOMETHING! Or else... Actor: Er... right! [Sonic gets knocked out by the actor and is then captured by Sleet] [Sonic, Sonia and Manic are locked in the tower] Sonic: Whoa, have I got a Sonic-sized headache! Sonia: We've got worse troubles than that! [points to handcuffs] Manic: Imagine us getting sucked into Buttnik's plan like that! Sonia: He was trying to split us up! Sonic: And it worked too - thanks to... [Dingo throws the actor into the cell, with his mask taken off] Actor: Ohhhhh.... Sonia: Hey! That's no Uncle - that's... Luke Perriwinkle, the actor! I used to see all of his movies! Actor: Always gratifying to meet a fan! Sonic: I always thought he was a ham! Actor: Huh? I beg your pardon! Manic: The mask! It's booby-trapped! Actor: It won't explode, it was just a surveillance camera! Robotnik forced me to play this role to trick you - he said he'd robotosize me if I didn't do it - but after he caught you he imprisoned me anyway! [Kicks the mask towards the door, and it explodes, breaking the door down!] Manic: Whoa! It was booby-trapped! Actor: You mean... my head... boom? [faints] Sonic: Now's our chance! Manic, can you shed these shackles? Manic: Whoa, man, no exit! Sonic: Over here! [Throws Sonic a sword] Manic: The Sonic Underground reunion tour! Sonia: All hedgehogs for one... Sonic: And one hedgehog for all! [The Sonic Underground smash the SWATBots, Sonic and Sonia using swords, and Manic using his drumsticks!] Manic: Drum roll please! [Sleet and Dingo arrive] Sonic: Bad... Wait! [points to ropes] Sonia: Give the word! Sonic: Now! [Sonic and Sonia throw their swords in the air, cutting the ropes and causing a piece of cloth to fall down in front of Sleet and Dingo's vehicle] Dingo: Argh! Can't see! Sleet: Oh! I can't steer! [Sleet and Dingo's vehicle crashes through the wall, setting off a progressive collapse of the tower] [Sonic speeds over the water, while Sonia and Manic use Sleet and Dingo's heads as stepping stones] [Tower crumbles into the water, and the weather clears up] Actor: Now that I'm free I'm giving up acting. I am going to join the Resistance! Manic: You do that guy! Sonia: I hate to say it, but I guess we learned a lesson! Sonic: Yeah, if we ever rule, we do it together! Manic: But first we have to get the van outta the ditch where Sonic crashed it! Sonic: Me? Now wait a Sonic Second! Sonia: Well, you were driving! Sonic: Yeah, but you were supposed to be watching the road! [credits]