Difference between revisions of "Mecha Sonic (Scrambled Egg Zone boss)"
From Sonic Retro
(Created page with '=Bad wording?= This paragraph bugs me, the last sentence in particular: <blockquote>If Sonic has successfully collected the 5 available Chaos Emeralds by this point, Mecha Sonic …') |
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I've been sitting at the "Edit" page for several minutes trying to think of a way to reword it to make it clearer, but nothing is coming to mind. Does anyone have any ideas? | I've been sitting at the "Edit" page for several minutes trying to think of a way to reword it to make it clearer, but nothing is coming to mind. Does anyone have any ideas? | ||
- [[User:SoNick|SoNick]] 02:08, 19 January 2010 (UTC) | - [[User:SoNick|SoNick]] 02:08, 19 January 2010 (UTC) | ||
| + | :Uhhh... what seems to be the problem with it? I can't see how the wording is "bad". [[User:Frozen Nitrogen|Frozen Nitrogen]] 02:16, 19 January 2010 (UTC) | ||
| + | ::I'm having trouble describing it, actually! The tone seems to shift from encyclopedic to "Sonic's Epic Adventure!!1," for lack of a better way of putting it. I think something along the lines of "If the player has collected all six [[Chaos Emeralds]] then they may proceed to [[Crystal Egg Zone]]" would be better? That's just a first draft, of course; it's kind of weak like that and there is no mention of the bad ending. - [[User:SoNick|SoNick]] 02:23, 19 January 2010 (UTC) | ||
| + | :::I tried rewording the sentence to be a bit more clear and encycolopedic sounding.--[[User:MathUser|MUser]] 18:38, 19 January 2010 (UTC) | ||
Latest revision as of 15:05, 25 November 2011
Bad wording?
This paragraph bugs me, the last sentence in particular:
If Sonic has successfully collected the 5 available Chaos Emeralds by this point, Mecha Sonic releases the sixth and final gem before being consumed by a fireball. It is only armed with six Emeralds that Sonic can proceed to Crystal Egg Zone and rescue Tails; otherwise, the Bad Ending plays.
I've been sitting at the "Edit" page for several minutes trying to think of a way to reword it to make it clearer, but nothing is coming to mind. Does anyone have any ideas? - SoNick 02:08, 19 January 2010 (UTC)
- Uhhh... what seems to be the problem with it? I can't see how the wording is "bad". Frozen Nitrogen 02:16, 19 January 2010 (UTC)
- I'm having trouble describing it, actually! The tone seems to shift from encyclopedic to "Sonic's Epic Adventure!!1," for lack of a better way of putting it. I think something along the lines of "If the player has collected all six Chaos Emeralds then they may proceed to Crystal Egg Zone" would be better? That's just a first draft, of course; it's kind of weak like that and there is no mention of the bad ending. - SoNick 02:23, 19 January 2010 (UTC)
- I tried rewording the sentence to be a bit more clear and encycolopedic sounding.--MUser 18:38, 19 January 2010 (UTC)
- I'm having trouble describing it, actually! The tone seems to shift from encyclopedic to "Sonic's Epic Adventure!!1," for lack of a better way of putting it. I think something along the lines of "If the player has collected all six Chaos Emeralds then they may proceed to Crystal Egg Zone" would be better? That's just a first draft, of course; it's kind of weak like that and there is no mention of the bad ending. - SoNick 02:23, 19 January 2010 (UTC)