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To Catch a Queen (transcript)

From Sonic Retro

This is the English transcript of the Sonic Underground episode To Catch a Queen‎.

Episode Script

(Courtesy of The Sonic Zone)

Queen Aleena: Queen Aleena here. Argus, a trusted captain of my personal
              guard, was on his way to a secret rendezvous, when he was
              spotted by Robotnik's relentless bounty-hunters, Sleet and
              Dingo, whose goal, as ever, is to capture the Queen.

Sleet: Attention SWATBot units! I need a top-priority intercept on Robotnik 
       Road, sector 5!
Manic: Must be some big dealings for a top-priority intercept!
Sonia: Right now, finding a gift for my dear Bartleby is MY top priority!
Sleet: Our target is a captain in the Queen's own guard! He may have 
       information enabling us to capture Aleena herself!
Manic: Sleet's trying to capture Ma?
Sonic: No way, Sleet-meat!
Sonia: Sonic, stop this van IMMEDIATELY!
Sonic: Oh, but what about Bartleby's gift?
Sonia: Bartleby can wait - but Mother can't! What's keeping us, slo-mo? 
Manic: We're waiting! 
Sonic: Nice try kids - but that's MY line!

Argus: Argh!
Dingo: Sleet! He's getting away!
Sleet: Oh no he's not... [morphs Dingo into a baby and throws him out]
Sleet: Help! Please! Somebody catch my baby!
Argus: Don't worry little fella - I got you.
[morph]
Dingo: Ooh, goo gi go ga gil goo go da daaa! How's that?
Sleet: Cuff him, Dingo! The old flying baby trick works every time!

Sonia: Sonic, check out that hovercraft for clues.
Sonic: Already did!
Sonia: Oh right (!) And I suppose you zipped over there faster than the speed
       of light and... [jaw drops]
Sonic: Got his car keys, dog tags... hmm... Argus - captain of Queen Aleena's
       personal guard?
Manic: Excellent! A guy like that is bound to know where we can find Ma!
Sonic: And one ancient photograph of...
Sonia: Ahhhh, just look at me! Wasn't I cute?
Manic: Like, we all were. I don't really remember her from back then, but
       that must be Ma!

Dingo: Aw, come on Sleet, why can't I question Argus at the robo-centre
       with you?
Sleet: Because I need a fly on the wall to spy on the hedgehogs, in case 
       they come backlooking for clues! [morphs Dingo into a fly] Capish?
Dingo: What I capish is, you want all the credit for catching Argus!
Sleet: I'll be back later, partner!

Sleet: If you know where to find Queen Aleena, tell kind, sweet Dr. Robotnik,
       and he will give you rank, privilidge and power!
Argus: Forget it! I'll never rat on the Queen!
Robotnik: In that case kiss rank and privilidge goodbye, and say hello to
          power... the power of my robotosizer, to be more precise! Hahahaha!
Sonic: We were fast, but not fast enough. Argus is gone! And now we'll never
       find Mom...
Manic: Wait just a minute - don't high-level bots get initiated at a special
       shin-dig at Botworks Hall?
Sonia: Right! And you don't get much higher than Captain to the Queen!
Sonic: Only this time, we're going to un-initiate Argus-bot! Hang on Mom,
       we'll find you yet!

Posh lady: I'm so excited. This is my first Robot Induction Ceremony.
Sonia: Let's see, put the main console over there... no I think over
       there would be good... although actually, it's better off right where
       it started.
Sonic: In that case, I'd say it's best if you do it yourself!
Sonia: [lifts console] All you have to do is ask!
Manic: Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh I could use one of these! Ooh-ooh and this one is
       tr‚s rash!
Sonic: Yo Manic, let's get clear on the concept. We're here impersonating
       sound-bots and risking our lives to rescue Argus! NOT to re-equip our
       studio!
Manic: I know, I know, we're rebels, not crooks, sorry dude I got carried
       away!

Robotnik: Is everyone having a real good time? [silence] Good, because that
          would be against the law! Now, let's welcome Argus-bot, formerly of
          the Queen's own guard, captured by Special Agent Sleet!
[a fly lands on Sleet's nose]
Sleet: Dingo, did I forget you? Get off me you idiot! 
[Dingo turns ba
ck while still on Sleet's nose, and crushes him!]
Dingo: Sorry...
Robotnik: Welcome, Argus-bot! Your orders are: Stamp out freedom! Squash fun!
          and Arrest enemies of the state!
Sonic: That's my cue! I'll take that Buttnik old boy!
Argus-bot: ARREST ALL ENEMIES OF THE STATE!
Robotnik: You heard him fools - arrest these hedgehogs!
Sonic: [sparks medallion] A 1...
Sonia: [sparks medallion] And a 2...
Manic: [sparks medallion] And a 1, 2, 3, 4!
Sonic: Hey, Argus my man, buttnik throws a mean party, eh?
Argus-bot: ARREST ALL ENEMIES OF THE STATE!                 
Sonic: Sonia! Manic! I'm waiting...
Sonia: On our way!
Sonic: Ready medallions!
Sonia: Ready!
Manic: Ready!
Sonic: Activate!
Argus: Sonic? Sonia? Manic? What're you doing here? Last thing I remember -
       Awwww, I don't even want to talk about it!
Sonia: Glad to hear it, cause we gotta jam!
Robotnik: Sleet! Dingo! Turn the lights on!
Sonic: [pulls Robotnik's head through the cover] Stylish sereppe,
       Butt-meister! But since I've got places to go and folks to set free -
       I gotta be spinning along!
Robotnik: Get that hedgehog!
Dingo: Argh! Falling out... under us... Aaaaah!
Sonic: Catch you on the flip-side!

Argus: Those were happier days indeed.
Sonic: I'll add a big 10-4 to that! D'you know where we can find Mom?
Argus: I was on my way to our rendesvous point when I was captured, so...
Manic: So, what're we waiting for?
Argus: With any luck, she'll be in the underground drainage caverns near...
       Oh No! The Medallions Were Only A Temporary Fix!
Sonia: Fight it Argus! The Queen will be in the underground drainage caverns
       near? Near?
Manic: Tone him again! We gotta blow that robotic program outta his brain!
Sonia: But the medallions are drained! They need time to recharge!
Sonic: Only time we've got now is to slam, jam, and scram!

Sonia: Fight it Argus! The Queen will be in the underground drainage caverns
       near? Near?
Dingo: The Queen? That's exactly what you were hoping for!
Sleet: Too bad we can't access his human memories. Although, now that we
       know where the hedgehogs will be looking, maybe we can lend them a
       helping hand! [Sleet and Dingo laugh]

Manic: So, all I have to do is put out the word, and my homies will come
       back with the 411. Anyway, a Queen is bound to stand out in this
       neighborhood!
[They spark their medallions]
Sonic: Looks like everything's recharged!

The band then perform this week's song.
Have you got the 411

Naa Naa Na Na Na Na Naa Naa Naa,
Na Naa Na Naa,
Naa Naa Na Na Na Na Naa Naa Naa,
Na Naa Na Naa,
I'm looking for someone,
Have you got the 411,
I'm searching everywhere,
For this special lady,
Looking for someone,
Do you have the 411,
Please help me if you can,
Stop my lonely, waiting

Have you got the 411?
Naa Naa Na Na Na Na Naa Naa Naa,
Na Naa Na Naa,
Naa Naa Na Na Na Na Naa Naa Naa,
Na Naa Na Naa,
I will do anything to see her again,
I will fight the battles and I know I can win,
Mountains are not tall enough to keep me away,
I will never give up, any price I will pay,

Whoa-oh-oh looking for someone,
Have you got the 411,
I'm searching everywhere,
For this special lady,
Looking for someone,
Have you got the 411,
Please help me if you can,
Stop my lonely, waiting

Have you got the 411?
Naa Naa Na Na Na Na Naa Naa Naa,
Na Naa Na Naa,
Naa Naa Na Na Na Na Naa Naa Naa,
Na Naa Na Naa,
Have you got the 411?
Naa Naa Na Na Na Na Naa Naa Naa,
Naa Naa Naa Naa Naaaaa

[the SoUnd reabsorb instruments]

[small crowd applauds then goes away]

Sonia: All we got to do is put out the word and your buds will come through 
       with the 411?!
Sonic: Hey, lay off the kid, Sonia, he's as disappointed as we are.

[An old man appears, obviously Dingo]
Old man: Hey, you with the drums! I heard you was looking for a Queen!
Manic: Ohh, you got that one right friend! What you got?
Old man: How much's it worth?
Manic: Ho-ho, more than money! You got the info, she'll buy you dinner!
Old man: Hehehahaha!
Sonia: MANIC...
Old man: In that case, for sure! I can tell you's exactly where to find th
e
         Queen!

Sonic: Are you sure we're going the right way?
Manic: He said the underground waterworks is where he saw Ma. And there it
       is!
Sonic: Yeah, but why would she want to hang around with all this water? Ugh!
Sonia: Y'know, some of us actually _like_ it... for washing, drinking, that
       sort of thing!
Sonic: Hey look! It's Mom's scarf!

Sonia: So where's Mother?
Sonic: I don't know, and there's something wierd about this scarf...
Sleet: Do you mean the tag on the back that says...
Sonic: Property of Special Agent SLEET?! Great work Mr. 411, your lying
       homey led us into a trap!
[Old man morphs back into Dingo]
Dingo: Thanks for dinner Sohnia, it was great!
Sonia: I took DINGO out for dinner?! WAAAAAAAAH!

Sonia: WAAAAAAAAAH!
Sleet: Give up hedgehogs, your mother isn't coming!
Manic: Sorry guys, I was trying to show you how cool I could be on my own
       turf... and it blew up in our faces instead!
Sonic: No way! I should have never gotten down on you! It must have something to do with... all this water!
Sonia: Don't worry Manic - everyone makes mistakes. Even me!
Manic: Gee sis, you're all heart!
Sleet: Give up your useless search hedgehogs! Queen Aleena would never lower
       herself to hide in an underground swamp!
Sonic: Oh yes she would - if she knew it would help get rid of old Buttnik
       once and for all! Once all four of us get back together, he and his
       hired goons won't stand a chance!
       Okay let's move it! Sonia over there - Manic there! Get ready,
       'cause once that Argus-bot climbs up here...
Sonia: We've gotta be ready to find out exactly what we need to know!

Sleet: On the other hand Dingo, just in case the Queen does care enough
       about those brats to come to this miserable hole...
[morphs Dingo into Argus]
Sleet: Your job is to make sure she leaves with US!
Dingo: Waaaaaaaaaaaaah! Oof! [splash] Someday, Sleet, it'll be YOUR butt 
       wearing MY footprint!

Sonic: Hurry up Manic! It's showtime!
Manic: Outstanding!
Sonic: Whoa! Over here, tall dark and metallic!
       [jumps up]
Sonic: Okay Underground, time to kick out the jam!
[they again use their medallions on the robotosized Argus]
Argus-bot: Nice going kids - since this won't last long, I'll talk fast!
           The rendezvous point is there!
Manic: [drums] There she is! But so is Argus!
Sonic: No way! Argus is here!
Sonia: Which means it's Dingo in disguise! Mother! Look out!
Manic: My hover-board! It's blasted! SONIC!
Sonic: What? You expect me to jump? But that's WATER!
Sonia and Manic: It's also our mother!
Manic: Come on bro, we're waiting!
Sonic: How many times do I have to tell you - that's MY line!
[Sonic runs up the tower and leaps across]
Dingo: (Argus' voice): Your Majesty, don't go! I bring news of your kids!
Sonic: Forget it, 'Ding-dong'! This kid brings news of his own!

Dingo: (real voice) Awwww, I almost had her!
Argus-bot: Hurry! I'm Starting To Robotosize Again!
Sonia: Let's do it!
Argus: Hang On Tight!
[Argus-bot cuts down the tower with his arm-laser]
Sonia: I hope this works...
Sleet: What are you doing, you idiot bot?!
Argus-bot: Going Out With A Bang!
Sonia: Goodbye Argus!
Manic: We'll be back!
[Argus-bot turns back]
Sonic: You don't fool me, Dingo - so if you want me, come and get me!
[Dingo crashes into a pole and cuffs himself to it]
Sonic: Next time, leave my mother alone!
Sonia: Where's Mother?
Sonic: Gone. At least those guys can't get her either.
Manic: What about us?
Sonic: Don't worry bro, Sleet's pathetic lacky here ain't never gonna get
       us - 'cause he ain't got the juice!
Dingo: Oh no? I'll show you juice!
Sleet: Dingo! No! [morphs him back]
Sonic: Dingo, yes!
Sleet: Turn around!
Sonic: I guess he had the juice after all!
Sonia: Take care.
Manic: Next time, Ma, next time.
Sleet: After them!
Sonic: Now let's juice!
Sleet: AFTER THEM! [falls over] Imbecile! Cretin! Muffin-brain!