When in Rome (transcript)

From Sonic Retro

This is the English transcript of the Sonic Underground episode When in Rome‎.

Episode Script

(Courtesy of The Sonic Zone)

When In Rome...

SWATBOT: Security Breach In South West Quadrant. Security Breach 
         In South West Quadrant.
SONIA: Sonic! They've seen us! Hurry!
SONIC: Gimme a break, this stupid door must be at least 40 feet 
MANIC: Glad I'm not in front!
SONIA: Sonic! Do something!
SONIC: Okay time to vamoose!
SONIC: Glad I'm not in back!
SONIC: Yikes!
MANIC: Wipeout!

SONIC: That's three missions in a row now where we've come up 
       empty! Three times! What's up with that? We're getting 
       nowhere fast here!
SONIA: We're doing some good work, Sonic.
SONIC: Oh yeah? Is Buttnik still around? Do we know where Mom is? 
       Are we making any _real_ progress?
MANIC: Er... Yes, No and Hard to say.
SONIA: Okay you guys, I've got an idea. Suppose we go get some 
SONIC: Answers?
SONIA: Can you say Oracle?

SONIC: I'll go in and check it out.
SONIA: We'll be ready to run.
SONIA: It's beautiful... and... warm!
MANIC: Totally!
SONIA: Oh my gosh!
SONIC: Yo Orc, where are you?
ORACLE: Ah, the young hedgehogs have come to call.
ORACLE: Well, look at you. How you've all grown. Now tell me, 
        children, why have you come?
SONIC: We could use your help.
MANIC: We don't seem to be getting any closer to Mom!
SONIA: Or fulfilling our quest!
ORACLE: Hmm. Well, young hedgehogs, I can help. But there is a 
MANIC: Whoa, here it comes. Should've known you never get 
       something for nothing in this world - whoa!
ORACLE: Indeed. In this case my cynical young friend, the price 
        is simply an act of valour.
SONIA: Valour? What do you mean?
ORACLE: Through that portal are people labouring under the yolk 
        of evil despots.
SONIC: You mean the yolk's on them?
SONIA: Sonic...
ORACLE: It is alright. A sense of humor will always serve you 
        well. Help those oppressed people, and I will share my 
        visions of the future with you.
SONIC: Sounds like a deal to me! Let's go!
SONIA: Wait! Where are you sending us?
ORACLE: To a place of learning.
ORACLE: Good luck, hedgehogs. Your true purpose, and faith, will 
        keep you safe.

MANIC: Oh, man! Sonic? Sonia?
CENTURION: Make Way! Make Way!
MANIC: Hey, watch out! - whoaaaaa!
GIRL: Thank you! Oh, no!
MANIC: Hey man, why don't you watch where you're going?
DINGOTUS: How dare you touch my horse! Take him away!
MANIC: Well this is just great(!)
CENTURION: Hurry Up Girl. [to SONIA] Citizen. Who Are You? 
           What Are You Doing Here?
SONIA: Oh, er... Sightseeing. I'm with the tour, but I got 
CENTURION: Your Papers.
SONIA: Sorry, I'm taking the Whirlwind Tour of the city. Time to 
       twirl and swirl!
[SONIA tries to super-twirl away, but instead just falls down!]
SONIA: This can't be good...
SONIC: Sonia! Manic! Where'd you guys go? Not funny, guys! I'd 
       better find them before they get in trouble - 
       Juice and Jam time!
[Sonic tries to run away but just falls flat on his face]
SONIC: Must be jet-lag!
[SONIC tries again but again falls flat]
CENTURION: Citizen. Present Your Papers.
SONIC: I dunno what's going on here but - aw, major yip!

SONIC: I bet you're wondering why I called this meeting.
SONIA: Trés amusing Sonic. Now how do we get out of here? We've 
       got no medallions, and no powers!
MANIC: Bet I know something that will help us get out!
[MANIC picks up some bones and starts drumming with them]
SONIC: I hear you, little bro! 
       [gets some wood and holds it like a guitar]
SONIA: Ewwww! Those are bones! What're you two - oh, I get it! 
       If this
       place is like Robotropolis, they probably won't like music either!
       So when they come to stop us...
SONIC: Exactamundo, sis! We try to break out! Even if it doesn't 
       work, we can at least have some fun!

[The Sonic Underground then perform their song]

Where there's a will there's a
Wherever there's a will we can find a way,
Together we'll overcome, and when come what may!

Take away our medallions, take anything you want,
But Sonic Underground, we can't be stopped!

Well it took a long time for us to find each other,
Ain't nothing gonna beat this sister and her brothers!

Whoa-oa-oa-oa Yeah

Where there's a will there's a way, oh-ohhh-oh
Where there's a will there's a way,
Come on,
Where there's a will there's a way,
Where there's a will... there's a way,                               

SLEETUS: I don't care if the peasants are unhappy - raise their 
         taxes again! TRIPLE this time!
[CENTURION goes away and DINGOTUS arrives]
SLEETUS: I'm bored. Where's my juggler? 
DINGOTUS: Sorry, Your Majesty, you sent him to the lion's den, 
[Sleetus does a Muttley impression]
DINGOTUS: But I do have the new prisoners for your inspection!
SLEETUS: Very well, bring them in.
SLEETUS: Well, who have here?
SONIA: I believe that would be 'whom', not 'who'!
MANIC: Do these guys look familiar, or what?
DINGOTUS: Silence! And bow to the Emperor!
[SONIC, SONIA and MANIC wink at each other, then bow down.]
[SONIC's stomach rumbles]
SLEETUS: What was that? 
SONIC: Gas! Sorry, dungeon gruel does it to you every time! 
SLEETUS: Send him to the Gladiator Pit and see if his digestion 
SONIC [being lifted up]: Whoah! Bye, guys!
SLEETUS: HE is the new palace juggler, and SHE is my personal 
MANIC: But I don't juggle!
SONIA: Personal servant? In another lifetime, maybe! Are we clear 
SLEETUS: Listen closely, hedgehogs. You do exactly as I say, or 
         Dingotus here will feed you to the lions!
MANIC: Lions?
[Lions roar]
SLEETUS: Very hungry lions! We CLEAR here?
SONIA: Personal service is one of my... best features!
MANIC: I was born to entertain!

[SONIC is thrown into the Gladiator Pit]
SONIC: Hold it pal, what's up with this dump?
[CENTURION walks off without answering - then something snarls]
SONIC: Er... probably just a real bad sinus condition!
[The MINOTAUR appears, looking really steamed!]
SONIC: I'm guessing you're not here for milk and cookies, right?
SONIC: Yo, you've been pumping some iron, huh, big guy?
SONIC: That steam's probably not a hit with the minotaur babes, 
SONIC: I bet it ruins a lot of good hairstyles, huh?
SONIC: You need some help with the honeys?
MINOTAUR: A-ha! A-ha! A-ha!
SONIC: Well, bud, you have come to the right place! 'cause when 
       it comes to cool, the hedgehog's a slice of ice!

MANIC: Whoa-oah-oah!
SONIA: Grrr... rrr
[MANIC and SONIA crash into each other]
MANIC: Nice going (!)
SONIA: Sorry.
LYDIA: Here Sonia.
SONIA: Thanks, Lydia. This is my brother Manic.
MANIC: Hi...
SONIA: You know those 'under the yolk' people the Oracle told us 
       about? Well, this is Lydia. She's the daughter of the 
       rightful Emperor - Augustine.
LYDIA: Those tyrants made me a slave, and threw my father into 
       that tower.
MANIC: Bogus!
SLEETUS (OOS): Yeeooow!
[camera pans to show Sleetus on the floor]
SLEETUS: Why is there fruit on the floor? Feed them to the lions!

SONIC: Smokin! Now walk the walk!
[MINOTAUR attempts to walk stylishly]
SONIC: No... almost!
[MINOTAUR growls]
SONIC: Well... it's a start!

MANIC: This is not good...
SONIA: Okay, we got them right where we want them now!
MANIC: What are you talking about?
SONIA: All we have to do is break out of here, get Lydia and 
       rescue her father from the tower! Once the crowd sees their
       rightful leader, they'll join the fight!
MANIC: And I _know_ you're just gonna tell me you've got a plan.
SONIA: Was there any doubt? You're going to pick that lock, while 
       I hold off the lions!
MANIC: The vibes are definitely not good...
SLEETUS: Release the lions!

SONIC: Alright big guy! That's it! Now you're officially stylin!
[MINOTAUR does a big grin and walks around stylishly]
MINOTAUR: Now that you have helped me, hedgehog, how may I be of 
SONIC: Wow! You speak better than I do!
SONIC: Since you offered...

SLEETUS: Ah, my loyal subjects... Release the lions!

SONIC: Cool!
MINOTAUR: The red flag. Someone is being fed to the lions!
SONIC: That's not cool!
MINOTAUR: Last time it was the Emperor's juggler!
SONIC: Did you say JUGGLER?!?! Let's haul some serious haunch!

SONIA: MANIC! How's that lock coming! 
MANIC: I'm trying, but it feels like I've lost my touch! [click] 
       Then again, maybe not!
SLEETUS: This is great!
[the lions crash into the steel bars, and SONIA and MANIC escape]

LYDIA: This way!
[SONIA, LYDIA and MANIC are caught by DINGOTUS]
DINGOTUS: Come with us, you wily little toads! The lions await you!
SONIC: I don't think so!
SONIA: Sonic!
MANIC: Hey bro!
DINGOTUS: Get them!
[MINOTAUR destroys the CENTURIONS with one blow]
DINGOTUS: Er... he... he-er... er... I'll catch you later!
MINOTAUR: He'll be back with more Centurions!
SONIA: Well we won't be here! Come on, we gotta free Lydia's 
SONIC: Okay, but...
SONIA: He's the rightful Emperor! So after Augustine was thrown in
       jail, the people lost their will to fight back!
SONIC: What're we waiting for?

[in the tower, at cell door]
MANIC: Got it!
LYDIA: Father!

[cut back to the stadium, where two other Gladiators are fighting. Suddenly
the fight stops as SONIC and the others arrive]
SLEETUS: What? You dare to return?
MINOTAUR: Maybe you should listen to the hedgehogs!
SONIC: Yo, citizens, it's now officially time to take back your 
       country! [crowd cheer]
SONIC: Cool!
SONIA: Citizens, I give you your rightful leader - Emperor 
MINOTAUR: Hedgehog...
ORACLE (speaking through Minotaur): You have freed these people 
                                    using only your natural 
                                    abilities! And now, you have 
                                    earned back your powers. 
SONIA: Sleetus, time for you to take a ride!
[Sleetus gets blown away in SONIA's super twirl]
CROWD: He's gone! Yay! [applause] Goodbye hedgehogs!
[SONIC SONIA and MANIC get sent back to the Oracle's cave]

ORACLE: Ah, welcome back, my young friends. You succeeded without 
        your powers! Now think what you can do with them!
SONIC: And the point of all this is...
ORACLE: The prophecy will be fulfilled. You will rejoin 
        Queen Aleena, and become the Council of Four, destined to 
        defeat Robotnik - if you are true to yourselves, and your 
        powers. And, if your hearts never lose faith!
SONIC: Long as I got a shot, I'm there!
SONIA: But what about Mother? When will we see her?
[ORACLE gives SONIC a snow-globe thing]
ORACLE: Shake it.
SONIC: Er, hate to be rude, but could we just get an answer?
ORACLE: The answers are contained within the globe. Look deeply.
[A beautiful world appears in the globe]
SONIA: It's beautiful! Is that what the world will look like, or 
       is that...
[they are teleported back to their van]
SONIC: How does he do that?
MANIC: Don't have a clue...
SONIA: Look!
ORACLE (inside globe): Remember, be true to yourselves!