Three Hedgehogs and a Baby (transcript)
From Sonic Retro
This is the English transcript of the Sonic Underground episode Three Hedgehogs and a Baby.
Episode Script
(Courtesy of The Sonic Zone)
Queen Aleena: The most difficult thing a mother has to do is to let
go of her children. For some it happens when the
children no longer need them...
They are the lucky ones.
Sonia: Looks clear!
Sonic: Ready to rock and roll?
Manic: Drum roll, please!
Sonic: Hold on to your lunch!
Sleet: Here they come!
Robotnik: Good! What about the bait?
[Sleet presses a button on a remote control, and the baby hedgehog
comes to life and starts crying]
Robotnik: Ahhh, what a delightful sound - the sound that will lead
us to Sanctuary! Now shut it up!
[Sleet presses the remote again, and the baby stops crying]
Dingo: Er... what's Sanctuary?
Sleet: Idiot! We talked about this all week!
Dingo: We have?
Sleet: LISTEN this time! Sanctuary is the place where the Freedom
Fighters raise their children.
Robotnik: And we're going to destroy it, and put an end to those
brats growing up to be Freedom Fighters!
Enough of this - are the baby's audio and visual
units activated?
[Picks baby up, and a picture of Dingo appears on the monitor]
Sleet: Yes, Dr. Robotnik. See? It has built-in video and audio.
We will see and hear everything the hedgehogs do!
Robotnik: Excellent! What is your backup in case of a malfunction?
Sleet: The baby basket! [gets the Dingo-morphing remote out]
Dingo: No! I don't wanna be... [morphs into basket] a basket!
Sonic: Okay Manic, you're on!
[Manic picks the lock on the door]
Manic: Clear!
Sonic: Got it yet?
Sonia: Sonic, we just started!
[Sonia breaks the code and the safe opens]
Sonic: Intelligence was right! Plans for micro-robotosizer!
Sonic: That thing's no bigger than a pencil!
Sonia: Oh my gosh! If Robotnik perfects this, his spies could sneak
up on freedom fighters!
Manic: And one wave of that wand, and poof! You're a goner!
Robotnik: Excellent! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Manic: Okay, they're gone!
Robotnik: Activate the brat!
[baby cries]
Manic: What was that?
Sonia: It sounded like a baby!
Sonic: What would a baby be doing in this dump?
Sonia: Awwww, what a little angel!
Manic: Sure doesn't smell like an angel - phe-ew!
Sonic: Cute little guy! Kinda reminds me of me, when I was a baby!
Manic: You mean the smelly part? What'll we do with him?
Sonia: We'll take him with us, of course - we certainly can't leave him here!
Robotnik: Excellent! Take the little brat, and lead me to Sanctuary! HAHAHAHA!
[baby cries]
Sonia: Poor little guy was starving!
Manic: Y'know, he still reeks! When are you gonna change
his diapers?
Sonia: Oh no brother dear, I'm feeding him. You and Sonic get
to change his diapers!
Manic: Huh? No way, I don't have a clue!
Sonia: It's time you learned!
Sonic: Watch closely, bro, next time you're doing it!
[Sonic changes the baby's diapers with a clothes-peg over his nose]
Manic: Ugh!
Sonia: And now we have to find out who this baby belongs to.
Manic: Yeah, and before his diapers need changing again!
Sonia: Ssh!
Sleet: I've got a fix on the house. Let's pick them up now!
Robotnik: No, we'll wait. They'll lead us to Sanctuary, then we'll
destroy them all! I can't see or hear them! Do something!
Sleet: Dingo, move to the door so we can see the hedgehogs!
Manic: No way, no how, nah-uh! I do NOT babysit!
Sonic: Hey, bro, look at it this way - the sooner we find the
kid's parents, the sooner he's outta here - and you'll never
have to babysit again!
Sonic: And while Sonic checks the underground, I'll check with all
my society friends!
Sonic: Besides, he'll probably sleep till we get back! Seeya!
Sonia: Bye!
[baby cries again]
Manic: Great(!)
[Following scene was cut out in UK]
Manic: Aw, come on kid, have a heart! Dude, I fed you, changed
your yucky diapers, what else is wrong? Ah, that's it!
You gotta burp, right?
[Manic burps the baby]
Manic: Way to go, guy! Yo
u are kinda cute! I know what you need,
a little ride with the top-down!
Manic: So, what do you think, kid - is this way beyond cool or what?
[baby laughs while Dingo feels like throwing up]
Manic (baby talk): Yeah, like dat dint oo! Dint oo! Well maybe
will take a wittle wide again, huh?
[Dingo's stomach rumbles]
Manic: Huh? Hey, little dude, you got a tummy ache? Hey, does the
good boy like music? [gets his drumkit] Get ready kid,
here it comes!
Manic: Alright, you're a natural, kid!
Sonia: Any luck?
Sonic: Checked everywhere - nothing!
Manic: You're pretty cool, kid! Y'know what, you need a name! Ed...
Bertrude, Chansy - nah, Hip! Hip Hedgehog! Haha!
Check you later, Hip!
[Sonic and Sonia arrive]
Manic: Ssh! You guys back already?
Sleet: Dingo WAKE UP you idiot, we can't hear what they're saying!
Manic: Ahh, we had a great time! He cried, I fed him, he cried,
I burped him, then I cried, we ???? [points to medallion]
Sonia: So, you won't mind taking care of him while we try to find
the robotosizer prototype tonight?
Manic: Oh, no prob! Huh?
Sonic: Okay, who are you, and what did you do with the real Manic?
Manic: Ha-ha, so me and Hip spent a little quality time and now
we're buds!
Sonia: Hip?
Manic: Well, he needed a name.
Sonic: Hip Hedgehog! Way cool!
Sonia: So we got tonight covered, but what about after that?
Manic: We should take him to Sanctuary!
Robotnik: YES! HAHAHA! Show me Sanctuary!
Sonia: No we can't - too many things to do!
Manic: But...
Sonia: It's okay, Manic, we can leave the baby at one of the
underground shelters. He'll be fine.
Manic: No way, those places get raided all the time! I've got a
better idea - I'll take him to the Sanctuary tonight, while
you guys are on the mission!
Sonic: Too dangerous to make that journey alone!
[baby cries]
Sonia: Maybe he's hungry!
Sonic: I got something for him!
Manic: Whoa, Sonic, babies DON'T eat chili-dogs!
Sonic: His loss! Ah, a work of art! [eats it in one]
Manic: I know what he wants - music! [gets drumkit out]
Sonia: Amazing! Well then, let's give him a song!
Song: Being A Kid Is Cool
Being a kid is cool,
There's so many fun things for kids to do,
Making funny faces and acting like fools,
Playing chase, singing songs, hopscotch too,
Games and toys and ice-cream really rules,
Being a kid is cool!
Running through the house,
Chasing each other,
Jumping on the bed,
Hiding from your mother,
A lovely bubble bath washes off the day's dirt,
Put a bandage on the boo-boo where you fell and got hurt...
Being a kid is cool,
There's so many fun things we used to do,
Making funny faces and acting like fools,
Baseball, bicycle, ballet too,
Dogs and dolls and ice-cream really rules,
Being a kid is cool,
Being a kid is cool,
Being a kid is cool,
Being a kid is - so very cool!
Sonic: You gonna be cool, bro?
Manic: No prob!
Sonia: We can go now! Bye-bye baby!
[Sonic and Sonia leave]
Manic: There's no way I'm letting you hang in some crummy
shelter - we're going to Sanctuary, Hip!
Robotnik: That's it Sleet - mobilise the SWATBots! HAHAHAHAHA!
Sonia: What's that?
Sonic: Assault force!
Sonia: Oh my gosh! I've never seen so many!
Sonic: Yeah, wonder what's up?
Sonia: Let's just be happy they're not following us!
Manic: It'll take us a while to get there, Hip, but I guarantee
you're gonna love it!
Sleet: We have the hedgehog in sight, Sir!
Robotnik: That's close enough. Shift to stealth mode.
[Robotnik's attack force disappears]
Sonia: Uh-oh...
Sonic: I hate it when you say 'uh-oh'!
Sonia: Look at this!
Sonic: Yeah, I've seen it. So? Yeah, so?
Sonia: So there's nothing else to see, Sonic! There are no insides
to the thing! It's a fake!
[Robotnik appears with another robot baby]
Robotnik: Isn't it annoying when they won't stop crying?
Fortunately, like those robotosizer plans, this baby -
is fake too!
Sonic: Why you...
[Sonic and Sonia are caught by some force field around their feet]
Sonic: Electronic shackles!
Robot
nik: Welcome to your nightmare, hedgehogs!
Robotnik: HEHEHAHAHA! It seems your brother has decided to take
that cute, little baby on a journey...
Sonic: Manic!
Sonic: Where's he going?
Robotnik: To that place you call 'Sanctuary'!
Sonia: Oh my gosh!
Robotnik: Oh, it will be such a pleasure destroying the Freedom
Fighters' little nest - and all the little nestlings!
HAHAHA!
Sonia: You are so below slime!
Robotnik: Thankyou!
[Sonia tries to break the shackles with a blast from her medallion,
but fails]
Robotnik: HAHAHA! Nice try, hedgehog, but those fields will
withstand anything!
Sonic: Even a power outage, robutthead?
[Sonic gets his guitar and blasts all the control panels and power
circuits. The shackles disappear]
Sonia: Nice shot, bro!
Robotnik: STOP THEM!
Sonic: Hold on to your socks, sis!
Robotnik: Hold your fire, you idiots!
Manic: Hang in, Hip, we're getting closer to Sanctuary!
Sonia: There he is! We're lucky - he's still 200 kilometers from
Sanctuary!
Sonic: Get ready to fly, sis!
Sleet: Dr. Robotnik, the other hedgehogs have arrived!
Robotnik: Sleet! You idiot! Blast them out of the sky!
Sleet: Yes Sir! Dingo - grab the hedgehog!
Dingo: Gotcha, hedgehog!
[Robotnik's attack force comes out of stealth mode, and starts
firing on the hedgehogs]
Manic: Lemme go! Come on!
[The baby falls out of the basket]
Manic: Help! Hip! Nooooooo!
Sonia: Sonic! Look!
Sleet: You're lucky I'm saving you, you useless moron!
[morphs Dingo into bird]
Manic: Huh?
[The baby smashes on the ground, and all the robotic parts fall out]
Sonic: Manic! Look out!
Sonia: Sorry, we just found out too!
Manic: I'm gonna get Robotnik for this!
Sonic: Well, here's your chance! Let's give 'em some flying lessons!
Sleet: Hehehehahahaha!
Sonia: Sonic! They're getting close!
Sonia: Sonic! Maybe we can lose them in that big cloud!
Sonic: Yeah, good idea, sis! Manic, if we split up, they'll split
up. Jam into the cloud from the right, and I'll go left.
We'll meet in the middle and blow out the top!
Manic: You got it!
[Manic plays the drums]
Manic: Now if you wanna learn that, you need to find some sticks
and some flat rocks!
Manic: To think... I almost led those guys here!
Sonia: You were just trying to do the right thing!
Sonic: You okay, bro?
Manic: I am now!